The Charity Dilemma

I was not sure if I wanted to post this because it seems like a downer and because it is a story as old as the first nonprofit or charity ever created. UPDATE – I am posting this because it kinda had a happy ending, see below. 

All my friends in the international nonprofit management courses have talked at length about these types of issues on a macro and micro scale. Anyways, so today was the first day I felt that common international development feeling of being taken advantage of or being taken for granted. First off I am not expecting a huge amount of gratitude for the work I am doing. Yes it is volunteering but at the school I am basically doing a job and I would not expect my boss to thank me all the time for the job I am supposed to be doing. The director Ellen seems very appreciative and I am happy with what I am doing. So we have had some delays in buying uniforms for the students. For most kids it is not a big deal, they are wearing old ones or just other random clothes. But there were a couple kids that were asking me about it a lot. One of whom has a more sad story of a bad father, eye problems that he often does not get taken care of, etc. Every day he wears the same torn plaid shirt. So when he offered to clean my bike for me I told him if he did a good job, and went to all his classes I would take him to town an get him a nice looking shirt.

Zoka's new shirt

He was super excited, came up to me every day since Wednesday to confirm we were still planning on going. So we went to town, got him a shirt. On a side note, I do not think there is the concept of browsing here. He just wanted the first shirt in the first shop that was the right size even when I told him we could look around more and come back. The same thing happens when shopping with the girls here. They just ask what do I want but often I do not know until I see something. Here there is just a very limited selection and if you live here I assume you know everything that is offered so there is no need to browse. There is also just a limited way of preparing foods. I asked Vivian for other ways to prepare the common black-eyed peas and she said she did not know of any. SO I think people just buy the same amounts, items most weeks and do not really need to think about it.

After the shirt I said he had ten more cedis and asked if he needed other things for school, supplies, extra food, etc. So we got the extra provisions of gari, chocolate milk powder and sugar. All fine and good. On the way back I stopped to get some meat from a stall and bought him one and there we ran into another boy from school. The two of them showed me a place I could get some takeout food and I wanted a frozen yogurt so I took them to the Fan-Ice store and got them each one too. All along the way no thank yous, but again, that is fine. It seems like in general “please” and “thank you” are not used in every interaction like in the US even with adults. There are many other polite things that are always said like “You are welcome” anytime you enter a place. But then on the way home, the other little boy hops in the taxi with us and tells the driver where to go. After the taxi is out of the station he leans over and says “You are paying for me” which just totally frustrated me. If he had just asked I would have been fine, and it really is a stupidly small amount of money, but it is just those little things that just make me feel like they see me only as a source of money. And in some ways I think the school does to. I am the person that is there representing an organization that gives them lots of money. I intellectually understand that in may ways I am very wealthy. They all see me with my computer and I-phone (one of which was a gift from my mom and the phone it not mine) and there is definitely that white person aura of having money or having connections. But I still feel like a unemployed nonprofit employee using savings to even be on this trip.

 



I was running this morning and realized that what was really more upsetting was the conflict in my own head and being mad at myself about it. On one hand I do not want to be taken advantage of on the other I am like “It is so little money in the big picture, just think of it as part of the donation you are making, stop being selfish” But I also do not want to start a pattern of being someone to target to get things from. I am totally fine that I pay for more of the groceries in the house but my roommates family was supposed to provide for her food and so far except a few yams from her home there has been no contribution. So I talked to her this morning, I will talk to the other boy tomorrow and tell him why what he did was not ok, and I am sure it will work out and looking back I will not even remember little incidences like this. I know this is I know this is not just me and it a problem with a lot of the students whose families are supposed to buy books, supplies, uniforms and other things while the tuition is being paid for by a sponsor. Many do not and sometimes they are not able to but many times they can. I have been told there is this feeling of “If you can spend hundreds of dollars for tuition, what is an extra twenty or fifty?” And that is the tough spot, not the initial donation or gift which is freely and happily given with little thanks needed. But it is when even after giving a student tuition, or books, or whatever, there seems to often be just a little bit more that is asked for or expected and that is where the bad feeling come. So in the end it was fine, we got the shirt and a bunch of things he needed for ten bucks, had a nice little trip and I am sure he will show up to my classes. 

PSA drawings



UPDATE – the student that got the ride home, first thing Monday morning came up and thanked me for my help. The next day I taught him and a bunch of kids Pictionary and they were playing on my wipe board. Later that day my markers went missing, and when I asked him he said he returned to the table and totally believed him since he came back to return my cleaning rag. He later asked if I found them and told me he would buy me a new marker if I told him how much it was.